Welcome back to Crispy on the Outside, where we worship texture and mock your grocery choices. Today, we’re making Salsa Picante using the kitchen MVP: canned tomatoes. That’s right, fresh tomatoes are busy being fancy at farmers’ markets; we’re here to get real, fast, and delicious.
Why Canned > Fresh
- Consistency: Canned tomatoes come perfectly ripened, peeled, crushed, and ready to roll. Fresh tomatoes? They vary between chalky alarms and waterlogged regrets.
- Convenience: No peeling, seeding, or crying over your counter. Canned tomatoes are commitment-free.
- Year-Round Flavor: Your summer nostalgia won’t fool anyone in November. Canned: same great taste in every season.
In other words, canned tomatoes are the reliable sidekick your jalapeños deserve—no fruit stand drama required.
Ingredients
- 1 (14.5-oz) can whole peeled tomatoes
- 1 small white onion
- 2–3 jalapeños (leave the seeds inside, wuss)
- 2 cloves garlic
- ¼ cup fresh cilantro
- ½ tsp kosher salt (or to taste)
- Optional: a squeeze of lime if you want to pretend this is gourmet
Instructions
1. Processor Patrol
- Dump all ingredients a food processor.
- Pulse briefly until the salsa has a chunky-but-still-a-little-respectful texture—we’re not making tomato paste here.
2. Combine and Season
- Pour the salsa out into the tomato bowl.
- If your heart isn’t working hard enough, consider stirring in more salt. Taste. Adjust. Remember, this salsa has an attitude.
3. Rest or Rage
- Let the salsa rest for at least 15 minutes to let flavors mingle like awkward party guests. If you can’t wait, rage-eat it. Your call.
4. Serve Like You Mean It
- Transfer to a serving bowl, surround with sturdy tortilla chips, and watch guests attempt a dignified dip (spoiler: dignity lost).
Texture Report
This salsa delivers a chunky, juicy base from the canned tomatoes—no mushy seeds or tomato guts—punctuated by crisp onion bits and pepper heat. Every chip dip is a mini-texture adventure: liquid tomato merge, veggie crunch, and that cilantro freshness slap.
Yes, I realize salsa isn’t exactly “crispy on the outside”, but if you didn’t puree it, it should still have a respectable chew factor. Also, why are you gritching? Chips are your friends.
Parting Shots
If you’re still hand-peeling fresh tomatoes for salsa, stop. Embrace the can. Let canned tomatoes carry the load while you get all the flavor and zero of the fuss. Your taste buds and your tear ducts will thank you.
Coming soon: How to build a chip tower that survives salsa dunking.